last thought

i'll be doing my very best to be free... and be happy.
that's gonna be the last of you.
thank you for letting me experience a different kind of feeling. I found out it does no good to me.
It's always going to be an AB negative... and blood types won't change,right?...
take care.

='

=|

AB negative nga.. pero ang daya!

blood type: AB NEGATIVE. =(

so i'm gonna take the last try. I'm gonna go out and hope to see the source of all these endless wonders, and dreams. I hope to see the source of this enigma that's been running into my sub-consciousness, the reason why all the good times had to end. I may be doing this mistake over and over again but believe me, i just couldn't stop. My mind is killing me. My feelings are making it worse.
The source had its mistake too. His mistake was worst than mine. Words for me are precious however they are delivered. I could not last a day without thinking what one has relayed to me. And with that source's word...I mean, words, I could not last a minute without thinking of it over and over again. The source's simplest words could move a mountain. And that's why I hate myself for this habit.
If you only knew how bitter I look while my thoughts are killing me. If you only knew how I changed for everyone, how I turned my smile into an unexplainable frown,which I don't like but I can't help.
I'll be outside today, near the place where you relayed the message to me at 10:09 on that fateful night, which changed it all.
If I will not see the source, then I'll be sad, but I'll be doing my best to get back, and wait again for another century or so 'till i have the hint that it'll come back. But, it's ok. I'll be alright (i hope).

I'm hoping to see you then.

blue MooD

sigh... NO adventure in stored for me this sem break.. and it SUCKS! Imagine me, being stuck in the house, with ALL the household chores listed for me, and all I could do for fun is watch TV, or face the computer, and Mind you there's still no fun at all. The tV's not cabled, the net takes 48 years to get a certain command, and I'm all alone staring at the same roof of nothingness. URGH! with this lifestyle I'll surely get FAAAT!!

sheeesh... where's my bungee jumping dreams?? the zipline adventure, the mindanao tour?? the white water rafting?? the mt. apo plans?? IF you only know how my heart gets excited whenever adventure plans are made, wether unsure or not..

I want to do something before I go for the next deathrow semester... If you just know how I feel. =(

speaking of ironies..

@#$%^&!!!!!! @#$%^&!!!!!!

I did it again!!!

And everytime i do the same mistakes, I feel totally angry of myself yet I feel so free, Like I'm on fire... Like I'm untouchable! The guilt so much pains me but in one way or another, there's so much joy inside that I wanted to burst out giggling at the thought of what I just did.

Maybe this is what they call the irony of happiness. I mean, you are happy, but the cause of this "happiness" was your mistake. I mean, you knew it was a mistake but you're happy still.

Also maybe this is what the irony of moving on is all about. I mean, you try to put that mistake in your past and forget about it but, still in the future, you bring it with you... and you're still happy... much happy when you brought it with you.

I don't understand... but up to now, my stomach is still tied into knots, and butterflies seem to dominate inside until I burst. Oh God. I hope I burst sooner than I'd commit this mistake of happiness again!

BREATHE

I just wanna share a beautiful song byAnna Nalick entitled "Breathe". I love the lyrics and I just can relate to it. This song never gets old to me.

ENJOY!

=======( ^ _______^ )=======

2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,can you help me unravel my latest mistake,I don't love him, winter just wasn't my season

Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyesLike they have any right at all to critisize,hypocrites,

you're all here for the very same reason

'Cause you can't jump the track,we're like cars on a cable and life's like an hourglass,

glued to the table

No one can find the rewind button girl,

So cradle your head in you hands

And breathe, just breathe,Woah breathe, just breathe

May he turn 21 on the base at Fort Bliss

Just today he sat down to the flask in his fist,Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year.

Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,

But my God it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,

Wanna hold him, maybe I'll just sing about it.

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,

And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.

No one can find the rewind button boys,

So cradle your head in your hands,And breathe, just breathe,Woah breathe, just breahte

There's a light at each end of this tunnel, you shout

But you're just as far in as you'll ever be out

These mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again

If you only try turning around.

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song

If I get it all down on paper, its no longerinside of me,

threatening the life they belong to

And i feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd

Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud

And I know that you'll use them, however you want to

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,

And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table

No one can find the rewind button now

Sing it if you understand.and breathe, just breathe

woah breathe, just breathe,oh breathe, just breathe.